[BRACK]street's Back, alright! Take a trip down 90s playlist lane with us to the year Princess Diana died--not sure how I felt about that one as I typed it. Well the backspace key is broken so I guess I just gotta keep typing about events of 1997 until it all evens out. Daria. Batman and Robin with George Clooney. Sabrina the Teenage Witch. We hit quota yet? Gonna hope so.
Happy 6th of July, or as we like to call it in large metropolitan areas, Happy 22nd Day Straight of Fireworks. It's been so long since we've had a still night where the stars aren't obstructed by the Devil's Fireflies and the cicadas soft cries drowned out by Cerberus's howls. Some nights I hope to see the moon. Some nights I hope the blasts will make me forget how far we've fallen. The sun is setting. I wonder what tonight will be.
Listen...now that it's summertime and you're out of school, your Mom and I are gonna need you to pitch in a bit around here. Maybe you could apply to the supermarket across town by Lorie's house? They're always.........honey I don't know what "Twitch" is. Do they pay by the hour? That's not the kind of pitching in I meant. No we're not going to buy you an L-Got-Oh so why don't you get an L-Job-Oh.
I don't wanna grow up (don't wanna grow up)! I don't wanna grow up (don't wanna grow up)! I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' -- Oh. Right. Well, uh...let's just forget about the death of a treasured childhood location and instead focus on sixteen other amazing things about being a child! Cullen will regale you with tales about what it was like growing up in 1807. Plus: A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS AND JOINS [BRACKET!]. Who could it be? Oh, the suspense!
Remember that time Jesse said chips without cheese are nachos? Do you remember that? Remember how you thought it couldn't really get worse? The good ol' days where all was right in the world? Just treasure that memory of a pre-Jesse-creampuff-without-cream world. Hold on tight to it. Never let it go.