The BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO [BRACKET!]
[BRACKET!] is a weekly podcast that uses the single greatest hierarchy method known to mankind (the Sweet 16 Bracket) to sort out the absolute best in all fields: movie quotes, periods of time, cereals, logos, philosphical concepts, and types of sharks.
We've recorded over 200 hours of bad decisions, cold opens, first-round sweeps, and season-spanning inside jokes. That's...a bit much. Below is a collection of some of our favorite episodes spanning a wide range of topics and guests.
Some helpful terminology:
First Round Sweep: When an entry wins every vote in the first round. Will probably make it to finals.
Kermit: When an entry is favored to win before the show begins. A reference to episode #5 - Best Muppet.
Bracket Buster: A consumable item in play with an even number of hosts. Used as an extra vote to break ties. Sometimes stacked with other busters to create shenanigans.
Super Buster: A one-time-use item granting the user the power to decide any first round matchup. Won as part of an end-of-show game.
Country Breakfast, Baby Pepsi, Banana Man: Cullen just started saying this one day and it's hard to stop that particular train when it's already left the station, derailed, and wiped out the entire town.
Where's The Art: When we began the show, one of our hosts drew custom art for every episode. Turns out it takes a lot of time and effort, and shoving text onto stock images is easy, so we stopped doing it.
Best Cookie - #58
Michaela Dietz (the voice of Amethyst on Cartoon Network's Steven Universe) joined us to argue about Thin Mints, chow down on some sugar cookies, and determine what wine pairs best with gingerbread (hint: toilet water). You can also hear Michaela on Best Emoji - #74
Best Pizza Topping - #91
Party Expert Andrew WK joined us for one of the first topics we thought up at the beginning of the show. If you're curious about what a Boston Style Pizza consists of, look no further. The boys also place a pre-show wager as to how many toppings picky-eater Jesse Knowles has tried before.
Best Podcast Advertiser - #75
The Meta Episode. If you listen to a lot of podcasts and are getting real tired of hearing about Caspers, Audible books, MailChimp, or the nummy-nummy Blueberry Boom Boom SnapSnoops inside every NatureBox, this is the episode for you. Free two-week trial not included.
Best Queen Song - #157
Special guest MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians joins us princes of the universe for a crazy little thing called [BRACKET!] to pick the Best Queen Song! The gang feels under pressure with so many killer Queen songs, but we somehow manage to break free because the show must go on. If anyone can figure out how to fit "Flash's Theme" into this post organically, they can have my hosting spot permanently.
Best Pop-Tart Flavor
Abigail Tyson and Sean Baptiste from Adult Swim's Lunchtime Games join us for a toaster pastry throwdown! Cullen walks us through the Do's and Dont's of consuming toxic items in your pantry. Jesse champions the classics in his most fired-up episode yet.
Best Childhood Game - # 70
Trin Garritano from Cards Against Humanity/Friendshipping and comedian Janel SantaCruz helped create the nicest episode of [BRACKET!] ever. Cullen even shares some games he played as a kid, like "Rock War" and yep that's played exactly how you think it is.
Best Home Alone Trap - #140
Well, we've only referenced Home Alone Traps about a hundred times in the past, so we might as well give them their own [BRACKET!] to find out which of Kevin McCallister's homicidal tendencies brought to life is the best. We also make personal appeals to Daniel Sterns and Sean Astin.
Best Will Smith - #22
The controversial episode of yore. Cullen's genuine love of Hitch sends this [BRACKET!] off the rails early. Mistakes were made. Villains were born. The artistic value of Shark Tale is called into question. West Philadelphia never had a chance.
Best Vampire - #87
Irene Koh (comic artist & illustrator) joined us for this Spooky Month episode. Every matchup is heated, John defends Bunnicula to the death, and approximately 25% of the episode is dedicated to genuine appreciation and discussion of the Twilight Saga films.
Best Excuse - #32
"My grandma's funeral" is a good excuse to get out of work or school, but bring me back a swag bag, will ya? I hear there's a rare Magic card in there. Other entries in this Best Excuse [BRACKET!] include My Roomate, Jury Duty, Obama, and My Dog Ate It.
Best Office Supply - #207
Before we began recording, Jesse fixed himself a little cocktail of Fireball and Pepsi Max. Turns out this is the secret potion that turns Jesse into an angry stand-up comic from Boston we now know as The Blast Master, and he's got opinions about office birthday cards.
Best Sci-Fi Weapon - #59
In retrospect, maybe we shouldn't have said Justin Roiland (co-creator of Rick & Morty) would be on our April Fool's show to help us pick between Portal Guns, and lightsabers. Maybe people would have believed us if we posted it on the 2nd.